I feel like I’m losing myself , I’m not sure who I was before my life shattered .. I can’t even imagine the person that I once was. Happiness seems like something I’ve never actually felt. Which is crazy because in 21 years on this earth I should have been happy at least once. Oh wait, I remember that one time I got so drunk and ended up going grocery shopping before I fell asleep in my car .. that was bliss for me. I popped an E that night , I wasn’t in love that night, I wasn’t w the drama that night. Shit has changed so much since that night. I spent the rest of my summer nights with an Angel like literal and figuratively.. her name is Angel and I considered her my angel before I did my unusual fuck up . I guess you could say she was the best part of my 2016. I went to a whole different country but she held me down.. she blew me up, most of all she waited for me. Now, that girl showed me something I’ve have yet to ever experience.. even when shit got messy .. me being a recovering thotty or whatever you wanna call it .. She still was for me.you asked me how I ducked that up … yes I said DUCK *inserts fake duck emoji* it up because well you’ll see ….
Im what some would say ehh Tupac w a dab of RANCH. I can get around quicker than someone’s grandmother preparing thanksgiving dinner. I mean, I love so hard .. it makes me not want to love whatsoever. But BOOM , met this shorty from Nola. Everything in me wanted to be like sooo can you say baby w ya little accent but well I held that back. On top of her sweet ass voice and dumb attractive accent , shorty was bad as shit .. I mean let me say that more respectfully .. she was one of the most beautiful girls around like hair 👌🏾, smile 😋, body😩 YOU NAME IHTTT .. it was LIT .. she was beautiful and she was talking to me. Here I am, looking like a reject from Yeezy SZN 3 like seriously I either looked homeless OR off 12 bars maybe even both.. no in between. But she was diggin my swag I guess Sosa would say .. “she think I’m cute … she wanna have sex ” but anyway . This was early February but still after Valentine’s Day which means it wasn’t even early February lmao . I remember her hitting me w the OUU AHH DAH BAM .. like one day I casually being a loner smoking by myself and more than likely day drinking. I said “Wyd” then she replied
Wait on it ….
WAIT ON IT
YUP YOU READ IT RIGHT … “Missing you” boy that’s how everything started . But anyway back to the main point. We vibed day in and day out then I left the county and had minimum phone AND/OR internet access . But she still held me up even hella miles away. BOOM I get back in the states and I was determined to make her officially my girl I mean by that time it was almost July and we had been talking since February… connection still strong after me being AWOL for a month and a half. Plus , she couldn’t be w someone else or I’d fuck her and them up .. honestly , I wouldn’t lie to you guys. We got together and it was AMAZING like my perfect couple until old friends tried to be new baes.. messy shit on twitter . I had a panic attack in BWW that day , cried in public that day.. She cried over me that day , she said I broke her heart .. at that moment I knew I couldn’t lose her and every feeling I had was confirmed . BUT that’s not the end , obviously if it was then it wouldn’t be any reason for you to be reading this .. but anyway . Her trust issues grew from I was on twitter too much to I didn’t call enough to I was always dubb’n her to go w my friends to I’m probably eating my friend for dinner lmaoo anyting
Things just grew worse and worse .. it was bad but it was good . Like sometimes even tho shit is bad you still can’t stop caring about OR/AND falling for a person. This countined then one day it was like WELP , you flirt too much or was it you’re too friendly 🤔 I can’t remember.. but you get the gist. In which , my fed up stupidity goes Bet, I’m not doing this anymore .. She told me I was dumb for letting her go .. by this point I brought the mess to my timeline on twitter.. boy oh boy 🙄
I missed her OD but my pride was hurt so you know how that goes … this was August maybe late August right before class started again so like basically the start of September… here it is now December
But anyway ..
MORAL(S) OF THE STORY
- DONT let someone you love walk away if you know whatever it is can be fixed
- NEVER allow someone to duck up someting between you and ya somebody ESP IF THE SOMEBODY ISNT THEM.
- NEVER FALL FOR SOMEONE IN THE SUMMER … this is why ANTISUMMERLUV
- HOWEVER if you do fall and you need feels that understand you use this #FREE6LACK
HOWEVER IF YOU WANT SOMETHING YOU BETTER GO GET THAT SHIT .. if you need courage ..
WEED IS THE MOTIVATOR, PRAY ABOUT IT LISTEN TO LEMONADE AND GET YO THANG TOGETHER